Family Program
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Overview When your loved one comes to Willingway Hospital, you become involved in his/her treatment. You have the opportunity to become an important part of the recovery process. Your role is critical to recovery. Support, love and understanding make a difference! For most, this is a totally new, “unknown” experience. If you are anxious or even frightened, do not worry, you are not alone. We want you to know that Willingway’s roots began in the more humble surroundings of the Mooney family home in the 1960s. At that time, the patients shared the house with Dr. John, Dot and their four children. Everyone who stayed there was made to feel a part of the family. Even though the surroundings have changed, our patients and their loved ones are still considered part of the family. This means that we have made a commitment to provide you with the best care possible. We will utilize all our experiences to ensure quality treatment for you and your loved ones in a dignified, concerned and loving atmosphere. If, at any time, you feel your treatment is anything other than this, please share your concerns with an appropriate staff member (a counselor, nurse, physician or administrator). Willingway’s commitment to help each family member discover and accept a new life free of all mood-changing drugs is evidenced in its program of recovery, in which addiction is treated as a primary illness that affects the entire family system. This philosophy is based on four concepts:
Highlights of Family Program The family program is a five-day intensive living experience that offers your family an opportunity to learn about addiction and the family's role in recovery. This experience also offers all of you an opportunity to share your feelings and experiences. We at Willingway believe that addiction is a devastating family disease, requiring treatment for the whole family.
Legally married couples will be allowed to 'room in' at Willingway if they so desire. This is the only time during a patient's stay that their room door is allowed to be locked. Occasionally, a same sex parent shares a loved one's room if desired (i.e., mother with daughter; father with son). Usually, extended family members (unmarried partners, parents of a married patient, children, or adult siblings) will stay in a local hotel during the family program.
We are glad you are here. We can promise that, if you are honest, open-minded and willing participants in our program, your family will leave Willingway with the tools to be able to maintain a sober and productive life.
Defenses
Defenses are unconscious and automatic shields against the real or imagined threat to our self-esteem. These defenses block our getting close to others, as well as getting close to ourselves. Coming to recognize these blocks to self-discovery may enable us to look behind them to discover feelings concealed from view. By learning our defenses, we increase our chances of letting down this wall that is locking others out and keeping us a prisoner within. It is these defenses that keep people at a distance and create the isolation and loneliness that is so much a part of our lives.
Believing that we already know ourselves and being afraid of looking bad to others, it is hard for us to take the risk of being revealing and genuine. We must remember, however, how unsuccessful our previous attempts at change have been. We learn that we cannot change something until we really see it and accept its existence. Only by risking openness with others will we gain the insight necessary to change our self-destructive behaviors and attitudes that are preventing us from enjoying life to its fullest.
The following is a list of commonly used defenses: 1. Agreeing - A way to get people to leave you alone
2. Blaming, Accusing - Putting responsibility for your actions or feelings on another person or thing
3. Complying - Conforming to someone’s wishes so they will leave you alone
4. Denying - Refusal to accept something as true
5. Evading, Dodging - Avoiding answering directly or facing up to something
6. Explaining - Giving reasons for, or why, in order to justify
7. Generalizing - Making something vague or indefinite to cover up a specific
8. Intellectualizing - Being guided by your intellect rather than by emotion or experience
9. Justifying - Showing an acceptable reason for something done
10. Minimizing - Making something small and not important
11. Projecting - Attributing your feelings to another person or thing 12. Quibbling, Equivocation - Bickering to avoid committing yourself to something
13. Rationalizing - Providing plausible, but untrue, reasons for conduct or actions
14. Silence - Not taking an active part and not expressing how you feel
15. Switching - Shifting or changing from one thing or subject to another
16. Theorizing - Showing an acceptable or plausible reason why - supposing or speculating 17. Threatening - Expressing an intention to harm or injure others so they won’t challenge or confront you 18. Verbalizing, Talking - Expressing yourself in a wordy, empty way; talking without saying anything 19. Withdrawing - Being unresponsive, not participating
What to Expect
Since your loved one entered treatment, he/she has been working hard to learn about addiction and how it has affected his or her life. You should expect to see some changes in behaviors, attitudes and feelings. You will also see close bonds that have developed between the patients and a desire to help each other work on recovery issues. This is part of what is unique at Willingway.
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